Hair❤️

You know what I love about my hair?

I can tie it up, out of my face, with itself. Like, no hair ties, no pins, no clips just hair on hair. 

It's not the most secure hairstyle in the world obviously and maybe it'll only work during the full moon or on days with Ts in them or something ridiculous like that but it's kind of awesome for now. 

Especially for me, as some one who is loathe to have any and all my hair in my face and yet also loathe to cut it al off short because of the dreaded ball of fuzz it'll produce. 

So for now, I'm having a serious win moment. 

List of things I'm excited to eat when I go to Italy

Cheese

Possibly bread and coffee. 

But mostly cheese. 

Addio Nonno

So, my grandfather passed away today. It was a weird day. It was a long day. Mum woke me up at 6 to tell me and it's not like you can go back to sleep after that. But I couldn't go and see Nonna or anything either. So I just lay there for an hour, not really asleep and not really awake until I got up and did go to Nonna's. Where pretty much all of my cousins were, my aunties, my uncles, mum and dad, my immediate extended family basically.

Then I went to work. And took one of my younger cousins with me. Because what was he supposed to do at Nonna's all day? Sit there and watch her cry as every new person arrived? So he came with me and we sat at work and I read while he watched movies (except for when there were customers/things to do). It was a weird day.

I'm almost glad though, that he's gone. Because he was suffering and Nonna was suffering and all of us hated seeing him like that, reduced to invalidity. And I'm glad it's happened now while I'm here and not overseas because even though I'd hate myself if I didn't, spending $2,500 to get to a funeral is more than I can probably afford.

I didn't really tell anyone about it, because what are you supposed to do? Send out a mass text that says:
"Hey everyone, just letting you know my grandfather passed away so I'll be MIA for a few days. Much love, Zoe"?

I heard from a few people though, my Aunt posted something on Facebook so I got a few texts. I don't mind that I didn't hear from everyone because I don't really know what to say. Thanks?
I feel like getting all that sympathy is undeserved because I don't feel really all that sad. My Nonno had dementia for a long time so he died for me a long time ago and now I feel like we're just mourning a shell. I get that that 'shell' represents his soul, his life, all of the memories we had of him but he hasn't been Nonno for a very long time. He hasn't been the man that took me for a walk up to the Milkbar while my bratty cousin had his nap, or let us made pizza bases out of his bread dough for us to run upstairs with them to put toppings on with Nonna, and then run back downstairs to cook them in the wood fire oven. Or come back with Nonno's chicken (KFC) or Nonno's cheese (Kraft singles) or Nonno's bread (actually made by him).

Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet, I'll cry at the funeral though, if nothing else, seeing people I love and care about crying never fails to make me do so too.

Reply

So I just found 3 new posts from Zo, which gets me excited because I am the lazy one who writes 1 post for every 10 of hers and the page had been quiet for a while now. Not that anyone really cares. But I enjoy seeing into the depths of Zo's mind, and I know for a fact that some of our friends do too (hi Patto).
So in relation to her last post, I cooked pearl couscous monday night and put it in with a can of vegetable soup and it was delicious. I did also go through the outwardbound-couscous despise phase and I am happy to say it can and will end.

I am also glad to see she is reading the book I gave her around 2 years ago.

Zo failed to mention that she now speaks 3 languages, and well on her way to becoming a professional  translator so if thats not interesting I don't know what is. Everyone knows some shit.

Talking of teaching Zo biology I had the funniest conversation about birds with her, in which she pretty much asked how birds breathed while flying because if they opened their mouth they would be pushed backwards. I don't know whether to be proud of her knowledge in aerodynamics or concerned.

Anyhoo, so a few fun things that have been happening in the past few months.

Orphan Black is an addictive TV show.

There is such thing as large couscous and it is delicious in stews/soups.

House sparrows are mental energetic critters out to destroy my life.

Agricola and Dominion are the flavour of the month(s).

When you spend your time between 4 houses you car gets very messy and full of energy drink cans.

You always find a little time for friends!

It's been getting warmer and I have been getting happier.

Marvellous Creations Ice-creams are yumyum (Get on it Zo!)

I am currently procrastinating, and should be doing a Literature Review on the evolution of bird beaks as a thermoregulatory organ.

I play netball in a women's netball team (being that I am a woman and all) but my point is that I play with women that are older than me as well as women my own age.

I play with women in their 30s and 40s who have kids, are married/not married/de facto/divorced etc. Some of them even have kids that are my age, one has almost literally a brand new baby and the others have everything in between.

It's awesome not only because hey, physical activity + clumsiness = (usually) hilarity and hanging out with friends is always good times.

It's awesome because these women know things that I don't, they know things (and this is the real kicker) that mum doesn't know (I know, right? Mum doesn't actually know everything).

And while they do take great pleasure in scarring me for life when it comes to the topic of children I love seeing them and talking to them and learning new things. They're different to me, they come for different walks of life, different cultures, different classes different everything and it's fascinating to me.
'How do you cook quinoa?' one asked.
I didn't even know what quinoa was, let alone how to cook it!
But someone knew, and someone explained and now I do know how to cook quinoa (not that I ever will because it's basically couscous and Outward Bound was enough couscous to last me literally forever)/

That's like, my favourite thing in the world: learning new things. Just, tell me stuff, teach me a thing, I want to know it. I wish I could understand more of what you're saying but I'm sorry, you're the one with Bachelor of Science not me (Hannah). I wish I had the time to learn about everything I wanted.

And yet I read the same genre over and over and I watch the same genre of TV shows and I keep studying subjects in the same school.

Froyo dates and the troubles of friending

So my friend just invited me out for froyo after netball tonight, which is a thing we do quite regularly post-game. 

I'm just feeling kind of weird, sort of guilty, because I didn't even think to ask her. We've been a bit weird lately...not as close as before. I don't know if I've given up putting in any effort or if I'm just a bit out of practice. 

Still, no one wants to be the person asking all the time. 

***

And just now, having come home much too late from said froyo date she text me saying how glad she is we hung out. I feel bad that she was the one that text me. I mean, I thought about it in the car on the way home but in this case it's not really the thought that counts if she doesn't know it was thought. 

I don't know if maybe I'm seeing this as retribution or payback or something for us not speaking, I don't know if it was her fault, or if I even think it was. I've been pretty mad at her about this for a while though so maybe I'm not sending texts first because it's "her turn". 

I wish relationships didn't have all this drama and I'd honestly never thought it would've happened between us. 

Booktober

It's Booktober as of today (Thanks Carrie!) so in an effort to do more reading, which I still say I love yet never seem to get through my 'To-Read' book pile, I will be reading the following books this October:

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
The Auschwitz Violin by Maria Àngels Anglada
The Paris Wife by Paula McLain
The Magician's Apprentice by Trudi Canavan

These books have been sitting in my 'To-Read' pile for a ridiculously long time so it's high time they get read.

So, if you need me, I'll be reading!

I don't know if I have commitment issues or I-don't-want-to-fuck-this-up-so-I-just-won't issues.

I don't know if I legitimately don't have time (it feels that way) or if I just haven't found the right someone yet (or if that's just my excuse). 

I don't know if screwed up last time or if it just wasn't "meant to be." 

I couldn't believe in que sera, sera or 'no regrets' more if I tried but what if it was me? My fault? 

There's no sera about that. 

It's all about me, and that's Ok

Wow it has been a long long time since I have written anything on here. Not that I haven't thought of anything worth writing about, because I have, but because I do most my thinking as I lay in bed, to lazy to get my laptop or phone out and navigate the english language. It is also because sometimes I think what I have to say is not very important, and in a culture that values selflessness and the ability to be humble about every amazing achievement above the age of say 12, that I stop myself from making posts.
So what has sparked this one post? There is a girl I was friends with in primary school. I haven't seen her much since parting ways at the age of 12, but I run into her occasionally on public transport or around town. I also have her on Facebook and Instagram, which makes me feel like I know her much more that I really do, or at least more than she does about me since I rarely feel inclined to share my thoughts or goings on with social media. Facebook says we are friends, but I guess we are under that special umbrella of people you once knew so well who have over the years transformed into a slightly recognisable stranger. Unlike many beings it seems like she has not lost that confidence and creativity that every parent sadly watches disappear and be replaced by it evil twin secrecy and laziness. I'm not exactly sure what she's doing, last I spoke to her she was studying film and working on some cool projects, but her photos show many of her amazing drag king outfits, and many posts about performing. But the reason I want to mention her is her new selfie challenge. Every day she takes a photo of herself, whether it be her happy, sad, made up, natural, with friends, with pets, alone. She is up to day 70, which I applaud because I can never get through one of those month challenges taking photos of tables fruit and "things that make you smile". Usually I don't like selfies because I feel the person posting it is saying "hey look how hot I am" But she made a point that sometimes we need to pay attention to ourselves and learn to view ourselves in a positive and realistic life. I think there is truth in that. Some times we try so hard to let the world only see parts we are proud of, or only parts that we assume are socially acceptable that we end up becoming what we are not. We worry too much about upsetting people, or alienating people or having people think we are too "up ourselves." I have come to the realisation that most selfies are just people saying "this is me, I am happy." My cynical mind tends to warp the concept of simple photos of people to think they are self centred or attention seeking, most likely to make my self feel more humble in a distorted corrupt way. So my aim is to let go, and I have started by compiling a list of things about myself that I am proud of or happy about, in no particular order.
I play keyboards and do a bit of backing vocals in a band. I have played piano for about 15 years and love being able to write and play music. I with I could play guitar properly though.
I have a really good memory, long term memory, you only have to ask my mother to know short term is shit.
I don't have to study too much. I mean I'm not a genius with a photographic memory, but I find biology really easy to understand and communicate.
I am about to start my honours project and I am excited because I really worked hard to get it.
I volunteer at the museum.
I am good at drawing, and to some extent painting, unless it's people. I won a competition when I was 16 and now I have $400 worth of art supplies piled in the study cupboard. I used to want to be an artist, but now I just enjoy it as a hobby.
I am in Love. I never thought I would spend so much time with one person, or thinking about one person, and many people make love and dependance to be such a negative characteristic, but I think it has made me stronger.
I have amazing grandparents. Ones that I love spending time with, that I look up to not because they are old and have seen so much, but because they are genuinely interesting people.
I love my hair. It's natural and all I have to do is wash it and brush it. And its long enough to tie into fancy braids and styles.
Last year I juggled 3 jobs and full time uni, so I fell kinda kick ass
I looooooooove boardgames/card games
I think I am a pretty good singer in the shower.
And that is my list. That is me, I am proud of me. Part of me is nervous that someone will read this and judge me for saying all this, but if you are judging I obviously haven't communicated my intention clearly enough.......anyway I am actually in bed now and the only words that have come to me are "go to sleep," So goodnight universe x

Car Music

On my long list of reasons why having my license (and a car) is awesome (and what unlicensed people are missing out on) driving in the summer with the windows down, blasting whatever song tickles your fancy and dancing your way home or to a holiday or to work or wherever is most definitely at the top. 

Music is great wherever you listen to it but I has a special kind of vibe when you listen to it in your car. 

Coffee Coffee Coffee!

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with coffee. I love the smell of it, I spend more time sniffing my coffee cup than I do actually drinking form it.

Part of the love stems from the smell, and part of it comes from it being a part of my family life (my entire family have fully fledged mini-cafe style coffee machines in our houses), uni life and Gilmore Girls.

But I'm also afraid of getting addicted to caffeine (like my dad is and my ex-boyfriend is) so I try not to drink it too much. It's the same reason why I'm so adverse to even trying cigarettes or weed or any other kind of drugs. I have an addicted personality, or at least my obsessions with [insert TV Show/Actor/Band/Book here] are any indication.

It makes me sad a little bit because good coffee can be amazing and I'm at least half-positive it's just the warmth and the smell rather than the caffeine itself that brightens my day some mornings.

Is denying myself a simple pleasure that may or may not become a problem should I become coffee-less (which is an unlikely situation in this day and age, lets be honest) really worth it? We all have our vices after all.

It's the same reason why I'm so adverse to even trying smoking or weed or any other kind of drugs. I have an addicted personality, or at least my obsessions with [insert TV Show/Actor/Band/Book here] are any indication.

Polyglot Wins #2

You know what blows my mind?

Punctuation is universal. 

The symbols they use might be different but a full stop always goes at the end of a sentence. 

It's stupid really that I always forget this.

Sarcasm too, that's not just an English construct either, as my French-speaking History teacher taught me when I asked. "Tu penses?" (you think?) she responded with a roll of her eyes.

It's probably pretty narrow-minded of me to think that this stuff doesn't exist in other languages, that metaphors and idioms and similes only exist in English. It just never occurred to me otherwise. 

Polyglot Problems #4

Fucking do not speak to me when I am dealing with the subjunctive.

Grown-up Problems

I'm really sad about being a grown-up.

Apart from the obvious reasons (moving out, bills, getting old, blah blah, etc.) I really like giving hickeys. And I feel like grown-ups don't give hickeys, that's not a thing that one does once they're a real adult. That's something teenagers do. But I didn't have a boyfriend as a teenager. Well, I did, briefly (he was definitely victim to my hickeys), but that relationship didn't last much longer than the hickeys did. 

So I'm sad, because what if I don't meet someone until I'm 25, when my hickeying days are over! 

Being a grown-up sucks. 

Regulars

Some regulars that come into work, I know their full name, their dogs' names, if they have kids (sometimes even their kids' names), what they get when they come in, their holiday plans, where they work, their brothers/sisters/parents/kids that also come in, essentially a whole chunk of their life story considering we're not actually "friends".

Other regulars I recognise when I see them every few weeks but I'm lucky if I know their dog's name.

I just think it's weird (and worth commenting on apparently) that I can see people equally as much but still not know anything about them. It's weird who you do have conversations/form relationships with and who you don't, even when the setting is exactly the same.

Ch-ch-changes

I still associate you two together even though you're not even friends anymore. Even though you're pretty much one of my best friends and he's...very much not. 

I met you as a pair, you came together, like me and my best friend, and you've stayed that way in my head long after the both of you have moved on. I don't even know if you ever had a genuine friendship or one born from the mutual necessity of new friends that is the first year of high school.

Now, you're not interested and I get that, and he's...lonely I think. And feeling nostalgic and I get that too because I feel that way about one of my friends sometimes. We had amazing times together growing up and we were best friends for a long time but we've grown apart now and while we're still friends, we've accepted that we're not as close as we were and we probably never will be again. I don't know how to push him towards acceptance that things are different now because I think he needs to realise that your friendship is over. 

It's a foreign concept to me not to still see school friends. The friendships have grown and changed since school finished of course but I'm still friends with most of the people I was friends with when I was at school. 

It's probably not a good thing (certainly not for my love life) that my friendship group has barely changed in 5 years but it's nice to have old friends. 

He doesn't seem to have many of those friendships. Not that he doesn't have friends because he does. Maybe you guys will be friends again but it'll never be like it was and that's just life, c'est la vie. 

Drunk Facebooking

I feel like it should be a rule that you're not allowed to post on Facebook while inebriated. 

I say as I post this almost 3 cocktails to the wind. 

Post-School Friending

So, I have this friend (seriously, I have got to stop starting blog posts like that).

He's...we've been friends for quite a long time really, considering we've known each other since circa year 7, and while we don't have heaps of stuff in common we have perhaps one of the most important things to either of us in common, especially when we were in high school: French.

He went away to France after school (like literally straight after, the weekend after our last exam he was on a plane, destination Charles de Gaulle) and I think he lost touch with a lot of people while he was away because that's a crucial period.
The first 6-12 months after school finishes is vital, especially once people start at uni/TAFE/work/etc. You realise who you miss, who you like, who you want to spend time with, and, more importantly perhaps, who you don't.

When he came back, he struggled. He'd missed 8 months of his friends' lives here when we'd been stressed about results, acceptances, the scary world of uni, losing touch with our old friends as well as the fact he came back from an amazing and terrifying stay abroad (I really want to use the word voyage because moving to foreign country at age 18 while undeniably beneficial would've been scary as fuck).

We weren't exceptionally close in high school, nor are we now. We've spoken on and off since he got back, over text and Facebook. I'm...cautious about really taking this friendship seriously because we've had some crazy ups and downs since school finished, not to mention our unstable friendship during school. He's the kind of guy who wanted so desperately to be a "cool kid" he'd ditch you the second one of them paid him any attention. I'd like to think he's matured from his time in France and his return but sometimes he seems more talk than walk. He's not a bad guy, he's intelligent and blunt in a way that makes me believe we're better friends than I think (though it has lead to disagreements) and he's ambitious. None of these are bad qualities in either a friend or a person in general. I like that we can talk about relationships in the same thread as talking about nuclear weaponry or the beauty of bilingualism. I like talking to him because we don't always talk about people. Most of the time we do but sometimes we talk about languages or international politics or history and it's really nice to have intelligent conversations and share knowledge that's more than who slept with who. Not that he's the only person I can have intelligent conversations with but I feel like a higher proportion of our conversations are intelligent than those I have with other people. I love to talk about books, movies, tv shows, whatever but learning things by talking to someone else is fascinating.

Word of the Day

'Cause some words are just damn fine. 

Intransigent 

- unwillingness to change one's views or to agree about something. 

*Definition courtesy of Apple's built in dictionary. 

Polyglot Wins!

Using a foreign word instead of an English word in your note taking short hand because it's so much shorter!

Also makes your notes quasi indecipherable to monolingual English speakers. 

The Weird Me

So what inspired me to write this little post is my boyfriend asking me why not many of my friends would go see certain movies with me.

I've known for a long time that my friends think I am weird. Why? Because they tell me all the time. They think I like weird music and weird movies, and to generalise, weird things. Not many of them actually like the weird things I do like, which is ok because they have their own interest. But what saddens me is that they just assume when I suggest to do/listen/see something they haven't heard of before that it would be weird and they say no. 

I think my closest friends are the ones who give it a go. The ones who say why not? The ones who would see quirky movies like ruby sparks and Grand Budapest Hotel, and listen to a mixed cd of songs they may have never heard of, spend ages learning complicated board games, or cook weird things with weird ingredients for the hell of it, without pre judging. Maybe its because no matter what the activity is, it is the company you are in that determines the fun you are really having.

In the last year I have really found who my best friends are. Some have been around for a while, some are new, some are yet to come.

Mistakes Have Been Made

On my quest to watch the entire IMDB listing of a particular actor I'm currently in love with I have, on occasion, come across some gems I probably would not have seen otherwise.

I've also watched some absolutely atrocious movies.

Immortals (2011) for example, don't. Just don't. Don't watch it. Not even the abundance of ridiculously over the top 300-esque ab shots can make that movie bearable. It takes a special kind of director/producer/writer/SFX team to do movies that involve Gods (especially Greek Gods) well. Immortals was not one of them. I had to watch Disney's Hercules to flush the awfulness out of my brain.

The Internship (2013) not bad. However, that may be because Dylan O'Brien is dude-of-the-moment and he was in it for like 2.3 seconds (okay like half the movie thankfully).

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2009) when the opening scene is crazy sex...nope.

Zerophilia (2005) bizarre as fuck. Just...it was weird, okay?

Kingdom of Heaven (2005) could've been worse - Orlando Bloom + Crusades is enough for me.

Troy (2004) there was really no way I could've gone wrong with this one. Troy, historically inaccurate as it may be, is pretty ace.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993) this movie is amazing. Johnny Depp's in it too, but it's 19 year old Leonardo DiCaprio that steals the stage. He's 19 and he's...amazing. This is before Titanic, before Romeo & Juliet and Inception and The Departed and The Great Gatsby and all the other amazing movies Leonardo DiCaprio went on to make (still no Oscar though, poor baby Leo). This was the start. Watch this movie. Seriously, just do it.

Despite the absolutely appalling movies I've subjected to myself to, I'm not stopping now. I have Dylan O'Brien's IMDB page to work through. Come at me!

Polyglot Problems #3

Writing an Italian culture essay on an Italian text, in English, using quotes in Italian and researching in both Italian and English. 

BECAUSE ONE LANGUAGE JUST ISNT ENOUGH! 

Classic Italian

To be honest, when I go to Italy I wouldn't be surprised if I'm better versed in classic Italian literature than the native Italians are. 

I've studied, Dante, Machiaveli, Boccaccio, Foscolo, Leopardi, Verdi.

It should not come as a surprise (as it did to my Italian teacher 3 weeks ago) that we know more about Italian history than we do Australian. They force it onto us when all we want is to learn the language. 

I appreciate this cultural education but if I could spend more of that culture time focusing on modern Italian I'd feel much better about my language proficiency. 

You Know You're a Grown Up When...

When you tell your little cousins off for sucking the helium out of balloons. 

C'mon Zo, you're not so old you don't remember how much fun it is to breathe in helium and talk in a funny voice for 10 seconds! Let 'em have their fun! 

I'm busy too goddamn it

Venting is all good and well, I am all in favour of venting and I get that sometimes you just want to vent to someone about stuff, and that's fine. 

But when I am legitimately stress inducingly busy is it bad if I politely tell someone to fuck off and moan to someone else because I have my own shit to deal with? 

Assignment Stress

Usually, I'd like to think I'm not too bad with the whole doing assignments thing.

Until of course I actually have one and I'm up late the night before, yet again, frantically scrambling to produce something worthy of the measly credit my Masters application requires. 

I've never in my life handed anything in late, with or without a granted extension, so I suppose there's points for me on that one. 

I mean, I love learning and reading things and importing knowledge into my brain but sometimes the stress of finding research material drives me insane. 

As proven by the fact that I have an Italian presentation Monday morning (less than a day away) and I am woefully short on the 5-8 minutes required due to Teen Wolf based procrastinating (in my defense, that entire cast is like sinfully attractive) and the irrational pep talk I've been giving myself that I "work better under pressure." No! No you do not! You have quasi panic attacks in the car on the way home or attempt to pull your hair out at night. This is not how you assignment! 

Perhaps I do work better under pressure though, because if I don't want to do an assignment or if I'm struggling only the impending deadline gets my ass into gear. Along with previously mentioned freak outs, of course.

It probably doesn't help that my start to semester has been the worst ever with computer troubles, consistently annoying traffic, and horrendously bad time management. It just bugs me because I've been doing this for 3 years why am I on struggle street in my last semester when I should be pro by now? How does everyone else handle it so well and I can't? Eugh life, man. 

Religion and History

I'm not religious, at all, but I am fascinated by Christianity, Catholicism, Judaism, Islam and how they all interact together and create so many issues when they all came from the same root and all promulgate the same basic things. 

I would love to go to Acre, Jerusalem, Damascus, Mecca and see the so called holy land that was fought over so fiercely for so long by people who'd never set foot there.

I'd love to go on the Camino di Santiago (the pilgrimage in Spain) because I can imagine how you'd be able to feel the history. 

I have no interest in the religious aspects but I'm fascinated by the psychology of religion its rich and tumultuous history. 

Polyglot Problems #2

The big, main, important reason why I've decided to put the dream of law on the back burner and taking up interpreting and translating instead is because I've already studied 2 languages and have reached relative fluency (considering the little to no time I've spent in country) but I'm already looking for the next one to learn.

Swedish, Polish, Russian, Hebrew, Arabic, German, Spanish are all languages I have considered studying in the past 12 months. Every time I see or hear a language I don't understand which is quite often I want to be able to understand it.

Languages are for me. That's what I want to do with my life.

I very much doubt that I'll stop at French and Italian so stay tuned for the next multilingual step I take!

The Worst Thing That Ever Happened to Me

When I try and think of the worst thing that's ever happened to me, I can't.
There's nothing bad that's ever happened to me in life. Not just in comparison to other people, just in general.

Maybe not getting into the Uni degree I wanted straight out? But I was never going to obtain a 97 ATAR anyway and I've since decided 'hey, maybe not for me.'
Maybe my grandma dying? But I never knew her that well to be honest and dying is a part of life, it sucks but it happens.
Maybe the one time dad forgot to pick me up from school? But mum came and got me anyway.
Maybe that my car died so I had to get a new one and couldn't go to Italy like I'd planned? But I'll get there eventually.
Maybe that time I got really drunk and kissed someone I shouldn't have? But really, that was my own fault and I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't wanted to at the time.

I am insanely, ridiculously fortunate that I cannot think of anything (not really anyway) that is the worst thing to ever happen to me.
I don't mean for this to come across as rubbing in the face of people who have had "worst things" happen to them, this was just a thought in my head and these thoughts don't leave until I write them down.

Polyglot Problems

I speak Italian like I'm French, I spell Italian like I'm French. I think a native French speaker would speak and spell better in Italian than I do. 

I know, I learnt all about this, that despite the similarities between an L1 and an L3, the L2 acts as a filter to block the L1. It's still really annoying though.

My French spelling is so good, why do I have so much trouble in Italian when Italian is actually more similar to English and actually spelt the way it sounds? 

Friends

I feel like I'm a relatively good friend. 

I'm not perfect - I'm not always conscientious or nice, I do have a temper at times and I won't take anyone's shit. 

I know that I bitch about people (yes behind their backs) because some things do need to be said in order to keep friendships just not always to the person to whom they refer.

I have my own opinions and sometimes they'll differ from yours but that doesn't make yours (or mine) any less valid. I appreciate hearing your opinion though because it can help me see things from a different perspective (and hopefully vice versa) however, that doesn't necessarily mean I'll change my mind. 

Some people, some friends, sometimes I do not want to see. Perhaps that means we're not friends, I just think it means we're not best friends or even good friends but it doesn't mean we're not friends at all. Someone that I never want to see, that would be a non-friend. Some of my friends annoy me, that doesn't mean we're not friends. 

Life isn't made up of perfect relationships, sure maybe it can be but that severely limits your social circle.

You need different friends because you have different interests to share with them and therefore different experiences to share with them which means you then talk about different things with them.

I have one friend, she's not even what I'd consider a best friend, but I've told her a personal secret that I haven't anyone else. And I often talk to her about this secret because she's the only one that I've told. That doesn't mean my "best" friendships aren't still there or real or that she is one of my closest friends because she knows this secret about me. She's just a certain kind of friend that I have certain things in common with, with whom I've shared certain experiences which means I can share this particular secret with her whereas I do not feel comfortable sharing it with others. 

You need different friends so that you can discuss different things with them. Different people bring different perspectives to a situation. 

You need new friends and old friends, med friends and eng friends science friends and psych friends and sport friends and mature friends and young friends and boy friends and girl friends. 

All these different friends make up and compliment different parts of you. 

You're multifaceted, your personality, your life, your interests, so too your friends. 

Best Friend Test

If you can find your way around someone's house/bathroom in the dark you're best friends. 

Head canon accepted 

#tumblrreference

This is why frencest never ends well

I have this friend and he's the type of friend where he's...he tries too hard with girls, with us, his friends. And doesn't seem to know when to leave well enough alone. 

Okay, yes we hooked up and spent hours making out while drunk one night but to be perfectly honest, that was it. We were drunk, I was longingly day dreaming about my ex-boyfriend who was morally unattainable to me so instead I kissed you. But that's it. 

It's not the first time I've made out with a friend so I know how it goes. First comes the awkwardness, the side looks and mortification, then comes the avoidance and uncomfortable hugs at gatherings, then months later, the talk where we discuss what happened and laugh and joke because "oh my god what were we thinking?"

I'll tell you what doesn't happen, after being in the avoidance stage for months, you do not try and hold my hand on the beach, twice, even after I pointedly let go the first time. You also do not then ask my best friend if I like you because what signs have there been in the past 4 months that I was into you? Since we woke up the morning after, when on earth did I indicate to you "hey let's do this again sometime"? Was it in the way I didn't speak to you? Or how I avoided being alone with you? Was it in the way I was practically joined at the hip with my best friend and her boyfriend until we all went home? Was it in the way we haven't had a conversation in months? 

You are my friend and you have been for a long time but if you do not stop touching me, period, I am going to flip my shit one day. 

Borrowed Time

My grandmother died in October. She was sick, she’s been in a nursing home pretty much as long as I can remember because she had Alzheimer's. The phone rang at 3 O’Clock in the morning and what else could it be? Why else would anyone ring so late?

I wasn’t really sure what to do with this information. Do I cry? I never really knew her. But she was still my grandmother, my blood, my mum’s mum, my Pop’s wife. 

I sort of went through the motions a bit, contacting my teachers at Uni as I had to miss the last week of semester to go to Sydney for the funeral. They were all really lovely and kind, happy to allow me to reschedule things but I didn't feel quite right because I never knew her and she’s never been more than an old lady in a nursing home to me. 

I did cry at the funeral. I cried because my mum was crying and because they were saying all these things about Nana’s life that I never knew which makes me sad because she’s my Nana and I should have known her. 

Poppy asks me about my life and tell me things about his life and talks to me. I cried because we all know he was just waiting for her to go first. Maybe it’s a stupid, obvious thing to say but I’m not quite ready for him to go yet but I feel like we’re on borrowed time now. I spent an extra few days with him last time we went up to Sydney but I worry that it’s not enough. I’m afraid that this time will have been the last. 

We’re all just living on borrowed time. 

Passive-Aggressive Friendships

Beware, this may come across as mildly bitchy.

So, I have this friend. She’s lovely, she’s insanely nice and she works ridiculously hard at uni, as a swim coach, at work experience and I’m in awe of how she manages to juggle all these things and the 3 hours of driving to uni and back every day. 

I am so proud of her because she is unashamedly and justifiably annoyed at a friend who hasn’t been acting too friend-y lately. Passive-aggressively annoyed but annoyed all the same. I love it because it’s always a bit surprising (and amusing) when someone so nice gets so pissed off. 

I’m not insanely nice. I’m normal nice but I’m also reasonably selfish and if I’m annoyed at someone, I won’t try and hide it. It’s not unusual for me to be annoyed at one of my friends, not end-of-our-friendship annoyed just, ugh not-in-the-mood annoyed. I’m annoyed so often that it takes a lot to really piss me off, which I think is a good thing. I’m so used to being annoyed, and getting over it, that even when I get really pissed off, I just expect it to blow over and, eventually, it does.

This friend of mine however, I didn’t even know she had it in her to be annoyed at a fellow human being! On the one hand I’m highly amused and very proud of her but, on the other hand, I’m aware that to annoy someone this nice and even-tempered is a lot of effort (or lack of effort as the case may be) and it’s a bit disappointing because why would you want to lose a friend like that?

Spelling Mistakes

The spelling mistakes I make when I'm not paying attention equal parts horrify and amuse me. 

I just wrote "sided" instead of "sighed" and they are not even remotely related in any way shape or form! 

Not to mention the confusion of there, their and they're, not enough O's on a to or whether instead of weather. 

My crazy literary side is completely astounded that I could even conceive of making such a mistake while the more normal side of me just goes "what on earth were you thinking, moron?" 

My brainless spelling mistakes happen relatively often but at least they give me a good laugh on my proofread. 

"Single" doesn't mean "forever alone"

I have been thinking a lot about the last post written. What is the point of being in a relationship just for the sake of it? I mean what is the point being with someone who you know will only be short term? It is  exactly what happens in high school. People date for the sake of dating. Having a boyfriend is not the be all and end all of the world. In fact good on Zo for sticking to her standards. Even if her dream man is a nice french/italian/sex-god who respects her slightly feminist nature and her love for english male pop groups, she is happy being who she is until the right french/italian/sex-god comes along, rather than dying her hair a bleach blond, wearing less material than she did when she was 5, getting tipsy off cruisers and hitting the town every friday night, hooking up with a guy who thinks he is much more attractive than he really is, sleeping with him, then deluding herself that there were "sparks of love" between them and that they will be together forever! 

It is funny how these days being a young adult and having your virginity seems to make people more embarrassed, where as back a hundred years just kissing a man would make a woman the talk of the town. I know that loosing your virginity isn't a big deal, but that doesn't mean you need to get rid of it like it's the taxman in a game of billionaire.

I am saying this as someone who is in a relationship, so maybe I don't understand what it feels like to be "alone," but I do know what it feels like to stay with someone just because, and it is nothing compared to how I feel now. If someone is comfortable being single, let them be. It is not abnormal, it is better than being with someone for no reason other than a meaningless trend, and risk loosing a valuable friend when is eventually sizzles out and dies. Not that love is a "trend" or anything, but a relationship with no meaning is like a pair of crocs: in the end you realise that they are a little lame and no matter how many of those little attachments you put in the holes, they will not become any more appealing.

If you are in love and happy with someone you don't need to rub it other peoples faces to make them jealous either. It's like winning the lottery and driving to a fancy restaurant and making your friend pay for the petrol. It's just rude.