I'm busy too goddamn it

Venting is all good and well, I am all in favour of venting and I get that sometimes you just want to vent to someone about stuff, and that's fine. 

But when I am legitimately stress inducingly busy is it bad if I politely tell someone to fuck off and moan to someone else because I have my own shit to deal with? 

Assignment Stress

Usually, I'd like to think I'm not too bad with the whole doing assignments thing.

Until of course I actually have one and I'm up late the night before, yet again, frantically scrambling to produce something worthy of the measly credit my Masters application requires. 

I've never in my life handed anything in late, with or without a granted extension, so I suppose there's points for me on that one. 

I mean, I love learning and reading things and importing knowledge into my brain but sometimes the stress of finding research material drives me insane. 

As proven by the fact that I have an Italian presentation Monday morning (less than a day away) and I am woefully short on the 5-8 minutes required due to Teen Wolf based procrastinating (in my defense, that entire cast is like sinfully attractive) and the irrational pep talk I've been giving myself that I "work better under pressure." No! No you do not! You have quasi panic attacks in the car on the way home or attempt to pull your hair out at night. This is not how you assignment! 

Perhaps I do work better under pressure though, because if I don't want to do an assignment or if I'm struggling only the impending deadline gets my ass into gear. Along with previously mentioned freak outs, of course.

It probably doesn't help that my start to semester has been the worst ever with computer troubles, consistently annoying traffic, and horrendously bad time management. It just bugs me because I've been doing this for 3 years why am I on struggle street in my last semester when I should be pro by now? How does everyone else handle it so well and I can't? Eugh life, man. 

Religion and History

I'm not religious, at all, but I am fascinated by Christianity, Catholicism, Judaism, Islam and how they all interact together and create so many issues when they all came from the same root and all promulgate the same basic things. 

I would love to go to Acre, Jerusalem, Damascus, Mecca and see the so called holy land that was fought over so fiercely for so long by people who'd never set foot there.

I'd love to go on the Camino di Santiago (the pilgrimage in Spain) because I can imagine how you'd be able to feel the history. 

I have no interest in the religious aspects but I'm fascinated by the psychology of religion its rich and tumultuous history. 

Polyglot Problems #2

The big, main, important reason why I've decided to put the dream of law on the back burner and taking up interpreting and translating instead is because I've already studied 2 languages and have reached relative fluency (considering the little to no time I've spent in country) but I'm already looking for the next one to learn.

Swedish, Polish, Russian, Hebrew, Arabic, German, Spanish are all languages I have considered studying in the past 12 months. Every time I see or hear a language I don't understand which is quite often I want to be able to understand it.

Languages are for me. That's what I want to do with my life.

I very much doubt that I'll stop at French and Italian so stay tuned for the next multilingual step I take!

The Worst Thing That Ever Happened to Me

When I try and think of the worst thing that's ever happened to me, I can't.
There's nothing bad that's ever happened to me in life. Not just in comparison to other people, just in general.

Maybe not getting into the Uni degree I wanted straight out? But I was never going to obtain a 97 ATAR anyway and I've since decided 'hey, maybe not for me.'
Maybe my grandma dying? But I never knew her that well to be honest and dying is a part of life, it sucks but it happens.
Maybe the one time dad forgot to pick me up from school? But mum came and got me anyway.
Maybe that my car died so I had to get a new one and couldn't go to Italy like I'd planned? But I'll get there eventually.
Maybe that time I got really drunk and kissed someone I shouldn't have? But really, that was my own fault and I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't wanted to at the time.

I am insanely, ridiculously fortunate that I cannot think of anything (not really anyway) that is the worst thing to ever happen to me.
I don't mean for this to come across as rubbing in the face of people who have had "worst things" happen to them, this was just a thought in my head and these thoughts don't leave until I write them down.

Polyglot Problems

I speak Italian like I'm French, I spell Italian like I'm French. I think a native French speaker would speak and spell better in Italian than I do. 

I know, I learnt all about this, that despite the similarities between an L1 and an L3, the L2 acts as a filter to block the L1. It's still really annoying though.

My French spelling is so good, why do I have so much trouble in Italian when Italian is actually more similar to English and actually spelt the way it sounds? 

Friends

I feel like I'm a relatively good friend. 

I'm not perfect - I'm not always conscientious or nice, I do have a temper at times and I won't take anyone's shit. 

I know that I bitch about people (yes behind their backs) because some things do need to be said in order to keep friendships just not always to the person to whom they refer.

I have my own opinions and sometimes they'll differ from yours but that doesn't make yours (or mine) any less valid. I appreciate hearing your opinion though because it can help me see things from a different perspective (and hopefully vice versa) however, that doesn't necessarily mean I'll change my mind. 

Some people, some friends, sometimes I do not want to see. Perhaps that means we're not friends, I just think it means we're not best friends or even good friends but it doesn't mean we're not friends at all. Someone that I never want to see, that would be a non-friend. Some of my friends annoy me, that doesn't mean we're not friends. 

Life isn't made up of perfect relationships, sure maybe it can be but that severely limits your social circle.

You need different friends because you have different interests to share with them and therefore different experiences to share with them which means you then talk about different things with them.

I have one friend, she's not even what I'd consider a best friend, but I've told her a personal secret that I haven't anyone else. And I often talk to her about this secret because she's the only one that I've told. That doesn't mean my "best" friendships aren't still there or real or that she is one of my closest friends because she knows this secret about me. She's just a certain kind of friend that I have certain things in common with, with whom I've shared certain experiences which means I can share this particular secret with her whereas I do not feel comfortable sharing it with others. 

You need different friends so that you can discuss different things with them. Different people bring different perspectives to a situation. 

You need new friends and old friends, med friends and eng friends science friends and psych friends and sport friends and mature friends and young friends and boy friends and girl friends. 

All these different friends make up and compliment different parts of you. 

You're multifaceted, your personality, your life, your interests, so too your friends. 

Best Friend Test

If you can find your way around someone's house/bathroom in the dark you're best friends. 

Head canon accepted 

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