It's all about me, and that's Ok

Wow it has been a long long time since I have written anything on here. Not that I haven't thought of anything worth writing about, because I have, but because I do most my thinking as I lay in bed, to lazy to get my laptop or phone out and navigate the english language. It is also because sometimes I think what I have to say is not very important, and in a culture that values selflessness and the ability to be humble about every amazing achievement above the age of say 12, that I stop myself from making posts.
So what has sparked this one post? There is a girl I was friends with in primary school. I haven't seen her much since parting ways at the age of 12, but I run into her occasionally on public transport or around town. I also have her on Facebook and Instagram, which makes me feel like I know her much more that I really do, or at least more than she does about me since I rarely feel inclined to share my thoughts or goings on with social media. Facebook says we are friends, but I guess we are under that special umbrella of people you once knew so well who have over the years transformed into a slightly recognisable stranger. Unlike many beings it seems like she has not lost that confidence and creativity that every parent sadly watches disappear and be replaced by it evil twin secrecy and laziness. I'm not exactly sure what she's doing, last I spoke to her she was studying film and working on some cool projects, but her photos show many of her amazing drag king outfits, and many posts about performing. But the reason I want to mention her is her new selfie challenge. Every day she takes a photo of herself, whether it be her happy, sad, made up, natural, with friends, with pets, alone. She is up to day 70, which I applaud because I can never get through one of those month challenges taking photos of tables fruit and "things that make you smile". Usually I don't like selfies because I feel the person posting it is saying "hey look how hot I am" But she made a point that sometimes we need to pay attention to ourselves and learn to view ourselves in a positive and realistic life. I think there is truth in that. Some times we try so hard to let the world only see parts we are proud of, or only parts that we assume are socially acceptable that we end up becoming what we are not. We worry too much about upsetting people, or alienating people or having people think we are too "up ourselves." I have come to the realisation that most selfies are just people saying "this is me, I am happy." My cynical mind tends to warp the concept of simple photos of people to think they are self centred or attention seeking, most likely to make my self feel more humble in a distorted corrupt way. So my aim is to let go, and I have started by compiling a list of things about myself that I am proud of or happy about, in no particular order.
I play keyboards and do a bit of backing vocals in a band. I have played piano for about 15 years and love being able to write and play music. I with I could play guitar properly though.
I have a really good memory, long term memory, you only have to ask my mother to know short term is shit.
I don't have to study too much. I mean I'm not a genius with a photographic memory, but I find biology really easy to understand and communicate.
I am about to start my honours project and I am excited because I really worked hard to get it.
I volunteer at the museum.
I am good at drawing, and to some extent painting, unless it's people. I won a competition when I was 16 and now I have $400 worth of art supplies piled in the study cupboard. I used to want to be an artist, but now I just enjoy it as a hobby.
I am in Love. I never thought I would spend so much time with one person, or thinking about one person, and many people make love and dependance to be such a negative characteristic, but I think it has made me stronger.
I have amazing grandparents. Ones that I love spending time with, that I look up to not because they are old and have seen so much, but because they are genuinely interesting people.
I love my hair. It's natural and all I have to do is wash it and brush it. And its long enough to tie into fancy braids and styles.
Last year I juggled 3 jobs and full time uni, so I fell kinda kick ass
I looooooooove boardgames/card games
I think I am a pretty good singer in the shower.
And that is my list. That is me, I am proud of me. Part of me is nervous that someone will read this and judge me for saying all this, but if you are judging I obviously haven't communicated my intention clearly enough.......anyway I am actually in bed now and the only words that have come to me are "go to sleep," So goodnight universe x

Car Music

On my long list of reasons why having my license (and a car) is awesome (and what unlicensed people are missing out on) driving in the summer with the windows down, blasting whatever song tickles your fancy and dancing your way home or to a holiday or to work or wherever is most definitely at the top. 

Music is great wherever you listen to it but I has a special kind of vibe when you listen to it in your car.