This is why frencest never ends well

I have this friend and he's the type of friend where he's...he tries too hard with girls, with us, his friends. And doesn't seem to know when to leave well enough alone. 

Okay, yes we hooked up and spent hours making out while drunk one night but to be perfectly honest, that was it. We were drunk, I was longingly day dreaming about my ex-boyfriend who was morally unattainable to me so instead I kissed you. But that's it. 

It's not the first time I've made out with a friend so I know how it goes. First comes the awkwardness, the side looks and mortification, then comes the avoidance and uncomfortable hugs at gatherings, then months later, the talk where we discuss what happened and laugh and joke because "oh my god what were we thinking?"

I'll tell you what doesn't happen, after being in the avoidance stage for months, you do not try and hold my hand on the beach, twice, even after I pointedly let go the first time. You also do not then ask my best friend if I like you because what signs have there been in the past 4 months that I was into you? Since we woke up the morning after, when on earth did I indicate to you "hey let's do this again sometime"? Was it in the way I didn't speak to you? Or how I avoided being alone with you? Was it in the way I was practically joined at the hip with my best friend and her boyfriend until we all went home? Was it in the way we haven't had a conversation in months? 

You are my friend and you have been for a long time but if you do not stop touching me, period, I am going to flip my shit one day. 

Borrowed Time

My grandmother died in October. She was sick, she’s been in a nursing home pretty much as long as I can remember because she had Alzheimer's. The phone rang at 3 O’Clock in the morning and what else could it be? Why else would anyone ring so late?

I wasn’t really sure what to do with this information. Do I cry? I never really knew her. But she was still my grandmother, my blood, my mum’s mum, my Pop’s wife. 

I sort of went through the motions a bit, contacting my teachers at Uni as I had to miss the last week of semester to go to Sydney for the funeral. They were all really lovely and kind, happy to allow me to reschedule things but I didn't feel quite right because I never knew her and she’s never been more than an old lady in a nursing home to me. 

I did cry at the funeral. I cried because my mum was crying and because they were saying all these things about Nana’s life that I never knew which makes me sad because she’s my Nana and I should have known her. 

Poppy asks me about my life and tell me things about his life and talks to me. I cried because we all know he was just waiting for her to go first. Maybe it’s a stupid, obvious thing to say but I’m not quite ready for him to go yet but I feel like we’re on borrowed time now. I spent an extra few days with him last time we went up to Sydney but I worry that it’s not enough. I’m afraid that this time will have been the last. 

We’re all just living on borrowed time. 

Passive-Aggressive Friendships

Beware, this may come across as mildly bitchy.

So, I have this friend. She’s lovely, she’s insanely nice and she works ridiculously hard at uni, as a swim coach, at work experience and I’m in awe of how she manages to juggle all these things and the 3 hours of driving to uni and back every day. 

I am so proud of her because she is unashamedly and justifiably annoyed at a friend who hasn’t been acting too friend-y lately. Passive-aggressively annoyed but annoyed all the same. I love it because it’s always a bit surprising (and amusing) when someone so nice gets so pissed off. 

I’m not insanely nice. I’m normal nice but I’m also reasonably selfish and if I’m annoyed at someone, I won’t try and hide it. It’s not unusual for me to be annoyed at one of my friends, not end-of-our-friendship annoyed just, ugh not-in-the-mood annoyed. I’m annoyed so often that it takes a lot to really piss me off, which I think is a good thing. I’m so used to being annoyed, and getting over it, that even when I get really pissed off, I just expect it to blow over and, eventually, it does.

This friend of mine however, I didn’t even know she had it in her to be annoyed at a fellow human being! On the one hand I’m highly amused and very proud of her but, on the other hand, I’m aware that to annoy someone this nice and even-tempered is a lot of effort (or lack of effort as the case may be) and it’s a bit disappointing because why would you want to lose a friend like that?

Spelling Mistakes

The spelling mistakes I make when I'm not paying attention equal parts horrify and amuse me. 

I just wrote "sided" instead of "sighed" and they are not even remotely related in any way shape or form! 

Not to mention the confusion of there, their and they're, not enough O's on a to or whether instead of weather. 

My crazy literary side is completely astounded that I could even conceive of making such a mistake while the more normal side of me just goes "what on earth were you thinking, moron?" 

My brainless spelling mistakes happen relatively often but at least they give me a good laugh on my proofread.