Checklist

Clubbing is not my thing.
I'm shy, I'm a homebody and I'm judgemental. I know exactly what I want and if you don't meet the criteria I'm pretty stand offish (even if you meet other equally important criterion) until you break down my walls which takes time and effort that strangers often aren't willing to impart (and understandably).

Must have a job, private school educated but not too elite to illicit snobbery, intelligent, sporty but not a football player (some exceptions do apply), animal person (doesn't have to be crazy about cats and dogs but must at least not hate either), willing to spend time with my crazy friends and willing to bring me along to spend time with his crazy friends.

Then there's the stuff that would be little bonuses, the stuff that would put him ahead of the pack. Foreign (most preferably somewhere in Western Europe, especially the UK or France), bilingual (again, European, preferably French or Italian), blue or green eyes, taller than me, living closer to the city than I do (that one's pretty easy to achieve though).

I'll probably find a guy who is the exact opposite to everything I just said I want and he'll be perfect.
Or maybe I'll live alone with 32 cats.
Either, either, or.

I am woman, hear me roar

So, apparently it took me getting a boyfriend to realise I'm a total feminist. 

(And then 3 months to actually come to terms with that, because in some circles feminist is a dirty word.)

I've always been "anything boys can do, girls can do better (and they can do it in heels)" but now my feminist streak is taking it to the extreme. Dont open doors for me, don't buy me dinner, don't let me go first, let me buy you some freaking ice cream.

We live in the 21st century not the 1850s I am a grown woman with her own money, her own muscles and her own brain, let me do it by my-goddamn-self.

I know that it's not meant to be condesending and degrading but at it's root it was and by continuing to do these things you're reinforcing the sterotype. Yes, if you are at the door first, please by all means do open it for me but don't do it because you're my boyfriend or because I'm a girl. Do it because you were there first and it's the polite thing to do, regardless of gender. If you've opened said door for me because you were there first, it only makes sense that I do indeed go first, otherwise who would be holding the door? But again, if I got there first and I opened the door, don't proceed to send me ahead of you because I'm a girl, what if there's a monster in there? That's not very gentlemanly of you now is it, sending me to a slimy and monstorous death?

As for buying me stuff, birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, sure. But do not buy me dinner unless you're comfortable with me returining the favour in the future. Sure, when we're reaching the later levels of being together and heading to words the big M word or a de facto relationship then yes, what's mine is yours, who cares who buys dinner on this particular Thursday? In the early stages though, when you're trying to impress me or whatever, buying me stuff, and not letting me pay you back in any way is not the way to go. It undermines my independence and that is so not cool. I work too. Women are no longer reliant on men for food and shelter. 

E-qual-ity, say it with me now. 

#NeverthoughtIwasacrazyfeminist

#guessIam

#guessIlovehashtagstoo