Is it the person you've known the longest?
Talk to the most?
See the most?
Have the most in common with?
Spend the most time with?
Is it the person you tell those silly little random thoughts to? You know those ones like, "I saw a number plate that said PEN15 today" (because I basically have the maturity of a 13 year old boy tbh).
Or is it the person you don't have to see or speak to for weeks but when you do catch up again everything falls back into place like no time has passed at all?
Because, with a few exceptions, the answer to every one of those questions are different people for me.
Or is at any and all of those things at varying times throughout a friendship and life?
I think "best friend" is a pretty abstract and ephemeral concept. It's fluid but the whole "BFF/BFFL" concept threw us off a little bit, at least it did me. If someone doesn't stay my best friend forever/for life, does that mean they never were my best friend at all? Merely a close, but not best, friend?
I have had best friends that at one point in my life I thought I would love and be close to for the rest of my life. I could never have imagined not being ridiculously close with that person. Yet, at one point or another, we drifted apart. Sometimes we drifted back together again, and sometimes we didn't. Does that negate the fact that we were once "best friends"? Because we aren't anymore? Like, if you say you love someone and then in future you break up, or realise you don't, does that mean you never did? Because if you had truly loved someone then you never would've stopped. Or are there just different types of love? Different types of "best friend"?
I don't think so. At one point, someone can mean the world to you and you can't imagine what your life would be without them but just because it doesn't stay that way forever doesn't mean it wasn't the case in that moment. I don't think that because I don't love you anymore, or because you aren't my best friend anymore, that I never did or that you never were. It's not like you cease to exist in my memory as an important person because you no longer are. Present feelings don't affect the memory of the past.
These are just the things I think about sometimes (read: a lot).
Or is it the person you don't have to see or speak to for weeks but when you do catch up again everything falls back into place like no time has passed at all?
Because, with a few exceptions, the answer to every one of those questions are different people for me.
Or is at any and all of those things at varying times throughout a friendship and life?
I think "best friend" is a pretty abstract and ephemeral concept. It's fluid but the whole "BFF/BFFL" concept threw us off a little bit, at least it did me. If someone doesn't stay my best friend forever/for life, does that mean they never were my best friend at all? Merely a close, but not best, friend?
I have had best friends that at one point in my life I thought I would love and be close to for the rest of my life. I could never have imagined not being ridiculously close with that person. Yet, at one point or another, we drifted apart. Sometimes we drifted back together again, and sometimes we didn't. Does that negate the fact that we were once "best friends"? Because we aren't anymore? Like, if you say you love someone and then in future you break up, or realise you don't, does that mean you never did? Because if you had truly loved someone then you never would've stopped. Or are there just different types of love? Different types of "best friend"?
I don't think so. At one point, someone can mean the world to you and you can't imagine what your life would be without them but just because it doesn't stay that way forever doesn't mean it wasn't the case in that moment. I don't think that because I don't love you anymore, or because you aren't my best friend anymore, that I never did or that you never were. It's not like you cease to exist in my memory as an important person because you no longer are. Present feelings don't affect the memory of the past.
These are just the things I think about sometimes (read: a lot).
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