Grown Up - Pt 2

Sometimes I don't say things but I'm starting to I think I should.
Sometimes I should say that what you did pisses me off instead of bitching about it to my friends. Sometimes I just don't think it's worth it. Why bother fighting over something like that, it's not worth the time or effort. I grew out of the whole confrontational thing when I was, you know, fourteen and I'm a grown up now.
But bottled up resentment isn't any better, I hear you say. And perhaps not but I'm not resentful, not really. Not the "bottled up" kind anyway. I bitch, I blog, I move on.

By move on I don't just mean from the issue I mean from those people who have pissed me off. Obviously we are now incongruous where we weren't before. It sucks, it really does, it's a pity, it's also life. In all honesty, why would you want to have a relationship with someone that doesn't make you happy?

Which brings me to my next point:
Fact: my best friend and I are unusually close, even by girl best friend standards. I get it, you perhaps do not have a relationship with someone that's like ours.
Fact: I do tell her pretty much everything about my life and vice versa.
Fact: She is ever anything less than supportive of whatever decision I, myself, choose to make regarding my happiness or needs - including any relationships I enter or exit.
Fiction: She somehow influenced me into breaking up with the boyfriend because she a) didn't like him (and have you met him? You can't NOT like that kid) b) didn't like her previously eternally single best friend having a boyfriend while she didn't (if so, that would be her issue that had nothing to do with me and would've caused issues between her and I not with the boyfriend) or c) is just a raging bitch (see above - why be friends with someone who doesn't make you happy?).

The ill-fated aforementioned drunk divulgence of the belief that I broke up with the boyfriend "because she told me so" was not followed with anything along the lines of "but I think that's bullshit" therefore, it implies to me that said divulger at least sees it as having some vestige of truth. It cannot be excused by "he was drunk, it was boy's night." Sorry, doesn't cut it babe - drunk words are sober thoughts and all. Nor can you blame the one who told me. Yes "what happens at boys night stays at boys night" but each of them knew I was there when they said it (cyberly) and it's not the person I'm mad at, it's the concept. It's the excuses you two gave that I'm mad it, it's you two not sympathising and backing me up. Perhaps that's childish, that I'm annoyed you don't agree with me.

From my other friends I can almost accept it. They perhaps don't know me as well as you two should, they don't know either of us as well as you two should. From you two, I'm...I just...can't believe you think that about me. I cannot fathom how you can think that I would ever do anything because someone else told me to, however indirectly. Also, I'm a little peeved on her behalf, do you really think she's that vindictive? That she'd sabotage my happiness in favour of hers? That's not what best friends do, they are supportive of you no matter what decision you make, they may express their disagreement but they respect your right to make your own choice. At least that's how we do it. No, she's not perfect, most definitely far from it, but hi sweetie, look in the mirror. Not only are she and I both annoyed that you think that because, it's quite hurtful to be honest but it's also so far from the truth it's practically living on the Moon. All you had to do was ask instead of assume. I was right there. Neither of you had ever asked me why I broke up with him (one of you didn't even respond to the text in which I told you about it). Then perhaps you'd know it was because I was not happy. That I perhaps broke up with him and hurt him, despite my efforts not to, because I made a selfish, individual decision to stop doing something that wasn't making me happy.
Me. Myself. I. Zoe.