Rest

The Doctor has ordered me to rest. So why does it feel so bad when I do nothing? I am so used to getting fewer hours sleep, never taking time off work, and studying when I am not working to keep up with the uni flow. So when I send an email off to the unit chair asking if I could sit the test another day along with a medical certificate, why do I feel like I am cheating the system? Why does a little part of me say "you aren't sick enough that you can't go to uni and sit the test, you just haven't studied enough" And it's hard to remember that one of the reasons I haven't studied is because I have been busy and unwell, and I have tried my best to fit in as much study as I can and I am only human. The doctor asked me when my last holiday was and I honestly couldn't tell him because apart from a weekend in sorrento  it must have been christmas time. My social life is next to non-existant, and the last time I had the chance to go see a movie or sit down and read a book is a distant memory. This is the one time where I have a legitimate chance to take a breath so why can't I take it without feeling guilty? My lifestyle sucks balls.