It's the "growing up" stuff that everyone's doing with their significant other that's bugging me. Holidays and houses and domestic things. You're my best friend, I want to do those things with you, we always have before. I'm jealous I'm no longer up there in your priorities. I'm jealous I don't have someone I care about enough to supplant you.
I tried though. I tried at something I should've known would've been a disaster then I had the back and forthing that I've finally realised never would've worked, not even on our superficial level, then I pinned all my hopes on something that turned out to be a flop so now I'm left feeling a little flat I guess.
I know, some day (my prince will come) I'll find someone that will capture my attention and drag me away from my books and writing and whatever else it is I spend my time doing to spend time with him but so far, no one has really taken my fancy, not enough anyway. And I don't believe in forcing things, if it's meant to be it will be, so I'm not going to make myself do anything to force anything I'm just going to live my life and let the pieces fall where they may.
I've held this belief for as long as I can remember, sort of like my own religion, but I think it's getting harder as I get older. I wonder how old I'll have to get before the cynicism kicks in and I adopt 34 cats.
perhaps u r alone so that you Can write and all those other things you are so good at?? then..being alone can be a blessing. Peace.
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