Best Friend Test

If you can find your way around someone's house/bathroom in the dark you're best friends. 

Head canon accepted 

#tumblrreference

This is why frencest never ends well

I have this friend and he's the type of friend where he's...he tries too hard with girls, with us, his friends. And doesn't seem to know when to leave well enough alone. 

Okay, yes we hooked up and spent hours making out while drunk one night but to be perfectly honest, that was it. We were drunk, I was longingly day dreaming about my ex-boyfriend who was morally unattainable to me so instead I kissed you. But that's it. 

It's not the first time I've made out with a friend so I know how it goes. First comes the awkwardness, the side looks and mortification, then comes the avoidance and uncomfortable hugs at gatherings, then months later, the talk where we discuss what happened and laugh and joke because "oh my god what were we thinking?"

I'll tell you what doesn't happen, after being in the avoidance stage for months, you do not try and hold my hand on the beach, twice, even after I pointedly let go the first time. You also do not then ask my best friend if I like you because what signs have there been in the past 4 months that I was into you? Since we woke up the morning after, when on earth did I indicate to you "hey let's do this again sometime"? Was it in the way I didn't speak to you? Or how I avoided being alone with you? Was it in the way I was practically joined at the hip with my best friend and her boyfriend until we all went home? Was it in the way we haven't had a conversation in months? 

You are my friend and you have been for a long time but if you do not stop touching me, period, I am going to flip my shit one day. 

Borrowed Time

My grandmother died in October. She was sick, she’s been in a nursing home pretty much as long as I can remember because she had Alzheimer's. The phone rang at 3 O’Clock in the morning and what else could it be? Why else would anyone ring so late?

I wasn’t really sure what to do with this information. Do I cry? I never really knew her. But she was still my grandmother, my blood, my mum’s mum, my Pop’s wife. 

I sort of went through the motions a bit, contacting my teachers at Uni as I had to miss the last week of semester to go to Sydney for the funeral. They were all really lovely and kind, happy to allow me to reschedule things but I didn't feel quite right because I never knew her and she’s never been more than an old lady in a nursing home to me. 

I did cry at the funeral. I cried because my mum was crying and because they were saying all these things about Nana’s life that I never knew which makes me sad because she’s my Nana and I should have known her. 

Poppy asks me about my life and tell me things about his life and talks to me. I cried because we all know he was just waiting for her to go first. Maybe it’s a stupid, obvious thing to say but I’m not quite ready for him to go yet but I feel like we’re on borrowed time now. I spent an extra few days with him last time we went up to Sydney but I worry that it’s not enough. I’m afraid that this time will have been the last. 

We’re all just living on borrowed time. 

Passive-Aggressive Friendships

Beware, this may come across as mildly bitchy.

So, I have this friend. She’s lovely, she’s insanely nice and she works ridiculously hard at uni, as a swim coach, at work experience and I’m in awe of how she manages to juggle all these things and the 3 hours of driving to uni and back every day. 

I am so proud of her because she is unashamedly and justifiably annoyed at a friend who hasn’t been acting too friend-y lately. Passive-aggressively annoyed but annoyed all the same. I love it because it’s always a bit surprising (and amusing) when someone so nice gets so pissed off. 

I’m not insanely nice. I’m normal nice but I’m also reasonably selfish and if I’m annoyed at someone, I won’t try and hide it. It’s not unusual for me to be annoyed at one of my friends, not end-of-our-friendship annoyed just, ugh not-in-the-mood annoyed. I’m annoyed so often that it takes a lot to really piss me off, which I think is a good thing. I’m so used to being annoyed, and getting over it, that even when I get really pissed off, I just expect it to blow over and, eventually, it does.

This friend of mine however, I didn’t even know she had it in her to be annoyed at a fellow human being! On the one hand I’m highly amused and very proud of her but, on the other hand, I’m aware that to annoy someone this nice and even-tempered is a lot of effort (or lack of effort as the case may be) and it’s a bit disappointing because why would you want to lose a friend like that?

Spelling Mistakes

The spelling mistakes I make when I'm not paying attention equal parts horrify and amuse me. 

I just wrote "sided" instead of "sighed" and they are not even remotely related in any way shape or form! 

Not to mention the confusion of there, their and they're, not enough O's on a to or whether instead of weather. 

My crazy literary side is completely astounded that I could even conceive of making such a mistake while the more normal side of me just goes "what on earth were you thinking, moron?" 

My brainless spelling mistakes happen relatively often but at least they give me a good laugh on my proofread. 

"Single" doesn't mean "forever alone"

I have been thinking a lot about the last post written. What is the point of being in a relationship just for the sake of it? I mean what is the point being with someone who you know will only be short term? It is  exactly what happens in high school. People date for the sake of dating. Having a boyfriend is not the be all and end all of the world. In fact good on Zo for sticking to her standards. Even if her dream man is a nice french/italian/sex-god who respects her slightly feminist nature and her love for english male pop groups, she is happy being who she is until the right french/italian/sex-god comes along, rather than dying her hair a bleach blond, wearing less material than she did when she was 5, getting tipsy off cruisers and hitting the town every friday night, hooking up with a guy who thinks he is much more attractive than he really is, sleeping with him, then deluding herself that there were "sparks of love" between them and that they will be together forever! 

It is funny how these days being a young adult and having your virginity seems to make people more embarrassed, where as back a hundred years just kissing a man would make a woman the talk of the town. I know that loosing your virginity isn't a big deal, but that doesn't mean you need to get rid of it like it's the taxman in a game of billionaire.

I am saying this as someone who is in a relationship, so maybe I don't understand what it feels like to be "alone," but I do know what it feels like to stay with someone just because, and it is nothing compared to how I feel now. If someone is comfortable being single, let them be. It is not abnormal, it is better than being with someone for no reason other than a meaningless trend, and risk loosing a valuable friend when is eventually sizzles out and dies. Not that love is a "trend" or anything, but a relationship with no meaning is like a pair of crocs: in the end you realise that they are a little lame and no matter how many of those little attachments you put in the holes, they will not become any more appealing.

If you are in love and happy with someone you don't need to rub it other peoples faces to make them jealous either. It's like winning the lottery and driving to a fancy restaurant and making your friend pay for the petrol. It's just rude. 

Reason #289 Why I Need New Friends

I have this...well I wouldn't exactly call her a friend at this point but we've known each other so long I don't know what else to call her so let's go with friend. 

For some reason she attempts to make me feel like crap (perhaps unintentionally) because I don't have a boyfriend each and every time I see her (slight exaggeration perhaps). It doesn't always get to me, not in the traditional drown-my-tears-in-icecream sort of way anyway, more in the "why did you even say that? Are you just being horrible?" sort of way. 

Yes, I am boyfriend-less but I have had one before, two actually, but you continue to discredit every boyfriend I've had. The first one we were too young, the second one it was too short. 

Just because I know what I want (and what I don't want) and I'm not going to settle for anything less (not that I think you are settling) doesn't mean there's something wrong with me or that I'm unhappy because I'm single. I know it's a pretty foreign concept to you but I am perfectly happy on my own. 

Sure, I wouldn't say no to a guy I liked (I am incredibly fond of the male gender) but I need to really like him, he needs to be at the top of my priority list and boyfriend 2.0 simply wasn't so until I find said high priority guy being by myself is good. Like for real, legit, perfectly cool all by my onesie. 

Today is just not a good day.

Don't Talk to the Antisocial Bitch (i.e. Me)

I'm in the kind of mood where I'm just like "don't talk to me, just don't." First I was sick, then I had exams and now I have no relevant excuse except I'm an antisocial bitch.

This rule doesn't apply to everyone of course but 90% of people I just don't want to talk to, I don't want to hear about their problems or excuses 'cause it's always the same and I'm sick of listening to the same thing over and over.

I'm just in a bad mood really but people talking to me isn't making it better.

Give me my space, I'm an only child, I need it.

I think I need new friends. I love my friends and I don't want to trade them in for new ones but I think I need to meet new people, people that I don't know practically inside out and whose minor flaws won't irritate me to no end. 

Strength is in the mind.

I have not contributed to this blog for a while. It's not that I haven't had much to write about, nor time to do so. I just haven't been motivated. I sure have things to write about. I got offered an honours project that I desperately wanted, I have a job at a lab with many interesting people, I did a placement at a museum and I am happily enjoying a serious relationship with someone. But what inspired me to write today is an admirable friend.

This friend of mine is not very "close" but I see her at least once a week.

Today I found out something sad. 

My friends mum has cancer, and has had it for a few years now.

I knew she was sick, but I didn't know she was cancer sick.

She's in palliative care.

I have met her mother a few times and she is a positive person.

My friend has never revealed much about her mum to our little group before. Which makes me sad because it means it is serious. We told her to just stay strong and keep motivated for her exams. She told us that it is ok because her mum had brought her up to be motivated.

But what I want to say how outstanding my friend is. She always puts 120% of effort. 

She never wastes time fluffing around. She goes to gym, studies full time at uni, juggles part time work, and manages to find time to practice, and keep a social life.

At the moment she is in the middle of exams, her mum is very sick, and she is keeping it all together. I don't know how she does it.

But the main thing is that she never complains. Ever. She is not someone who is full of excuses, who is never on time, or puts in a half ass attempt. She is a yes man. She is always up for more. 

The fact that she hadn't told us about it until today reveals her true nature. She doesn't like people feeling sorry for her or seeing her vulnerable. She is a strong person.

She is inspiring.

I have this friend....lets call him, say......Jake. Because coincidentally, thats actually his name. Let me tell you a bit about him, total wanker, but heart of gold.....at least thats what he'd like people to think. What it actually is a more of a lead heart coated with tin, but like that kinda tin that when you hold it up to the light kinda looks like gold. But i digress. Basically he wants to hijack our blog and turn it to the dark side (sans cookies). Sorry that was Zo (cos yeah real sneaky naming it the ZoHan blog......expecting us to be all like, 'damn, lord knows who's writing this') the bit about hijacking that is, the self deprecating stuff is all me baby.....now i feel awkward, can i even say baby on the internet anymore. Thank god this isn't tumblr because I'd be crushed under the waves of procrastination and armchair activism. GAH THE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COMMENTS, THE GIFS. I kid I kid.

So let me tell you a bit about Zo (once again, sho sneaky). She's about yay tall, Italian and has that sort of hair that no matter how you hug her kinda invades portions of your face but she's an amazing person. Don't let her know it though cos fuck it'd go straight to her head, and she lacks the coordination/balance to manage the extra weight. Though i find myself wondering at times (like the italian mother I am) why she no meet nice boy, not for her sake but for my own. We need fresh blood in the group, it got a little bit incestuous there for a while but its starting to show signs of supporting external life. Though seriously, she totally deserves someone awesome, and if it weren't for the fact that everyone in med is borderline sociopathic and megalomaniacal, I would have already set her up with a fine young paediatrician who moonlights as firefighter who specialises in saving orphans and little old ladies and is known to run into burning buildings to save kittens, that he then nurses back to health through his raw masculinity and love.

Enough about Zo (never gets old), lets talk about Han (.....im seeing a pattern), what can I say about Han that hasn't been said a million times before. Massive Poo. That about covers it.

Peace. *drops mic* booooooooooooooooooobs.

I told you so.

Do you know what I want to say to you? What I'm begging to say to you?
You should've stuck around.
I. Told. You. So.
Boyfriends come and go but friends are forever. 

Yes, our best friend got a boyfriend and she spent a lot of her time with him, often at the cost of our "girl time." However, you made a promise, all those years ago, when we became best friends that we'd stick by each other and always be friends.

Instead, you tried to turn me against my oldest and dearest friend just because she had a boyfriend and she was happy (and you didn't). I told you then (and I want to tell you again now) she'd come back.

It took 5 years and a bit of heart break but we're closer than ever now and you're still blaming other people for what was your fault.

IFF - Italian Film Festival

I went to the Italian Film Festival today and saw: Il Rosso e il Blu (the red and the blue) and Pazze di Me (Women Drive Me Crazy). They were both really good, Il Rosso e il Blu was a bit...depressing - think Freedom Writers or Coach Carter but without the happy endings. It also didn't end well, it just kind of...stopped. The main guy (the teacher) had incredible eyes though. It did have it's instances of comic relief that I've only found in European movies (almost slapstick but without the physical violence) but without a doubt, Pazze di Me was the comedy. It was about this guy who was the only male in his 7 female strong household (including the dog) and about how the crazy women in his life drove away every girl he brought home. Long story short, guy meets perfect girl, family drives perfect girl away, meets a new girl, she asks him to choose between her and the family, he chooses her, realises he's too noble for that, tells her to wait while he goes and fixes their lives once and for all, goes back to girl to discover she's gotten back with her ex, ends up with original perfect girl and moved out from living with his family. The soundtrack was awesome too. 

Anyway, both these movies were really good however there were two of them which roughly equates to 3 hours of Italian. As such, speaking English and hearing English around is messing with my head a little. Seriously, when I went down stairs before it took me a second to realise why I thought the tv sounded so weird. At the start of this post I was struggling to write in English which makes me happier than you can imagine. 

I'm really hoping this continues over into my Italian class and my test tomorrow though.

Costumes and presents and cards, oh my!

We're at that point in the year where you've gone to so many 21sts and bought so many presents (and freaking costumes - grr!) you're A) broke and B) out of ideas and just don't care anymore.

At this point in our lives, with our BFFs especially, we're at this point where we've known each other for so long and bought so many birthday/christmas presents over the years that coming up with something new and yet still suitable is a pain. While we do known our giftee well enough to anticipate their needs/wants rather than just buying them something 'nice and birthday-y' we've also had a few years of buying them DVD seasons they want or a new purse they've been eyeing or a pair of shoes etc. Now, at least for me, it's about experiences. A boat cruise, Dracula's, a Spa Day, concert tickets, trips away, dinner at a nice restaurant, Gold Class, the list goes on. I think experiences are the way to go, not only do you give them something they a) want, b) have never done before but c) you also get to share it with them too and create memories and we all know memories are the best part.

I have 2 more best friends birthdays to go and they both have presents bought/thought of and neither of them are tangible belongings. I've already decided BFFL and I are going away for our birthday presents to each other ("oh you've decided have you, BFFL?" she said when I told her). We're going somewhere we've wanted to for a while but never really got around to and I'm excited. 

Life experiences people, get out there and live a little.

Tricycle

I'm not sure how I feel about being the third wheel.

I mean it's never really been a big issue for me, I've been third wheeling for most of my relationships-are-real life and it was whatever. Now, I don't know. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

On the one hand, I'm happy my friends are happy and as long as I get to hang out with my friend (usually a 2 for 1 deal anyway), I'm happy. I get by with it. One of my best friends, if her and her boyfriend start kissing I just keep yammering until they stop and pay attention to me (little attention-whore, aren't I?). With one of my other best friends, I kept poking her in the back of the head every time she kissed her significant other when we were out at Trivia one night. Other friends I make kissy noises or just leave them to it dependent on my mood. 

On the other hand, not being the third wheel would also be nice but I can't expect my co-wheel to magically materialise into my best friend's lounge room for me so I can't really complain. Besides, I tried having a co-wheel and I've come to realise it's not something you can force (even though I probably should've known that before) so...Que Sera, Sera, that's my motto ("Whats a motto?" "Nothin'. What's a-matter with you?").